If you call your insurance company...

These are some thoughts, suggestions, etc. that I have based on several years of having been a switchboard operator for an insurance company. Actually, this is really sort of "venting" about all the people who are not exactly pleasant to deal with on the phone! If even one of them reads this, sees themselves in this post, and tries to take my comments to heart, I'll feel I've done a service for switchboard operators everywhere!

First of all, if you call your insurance company, and you have a question about your policy, or about a claim, please please please have the foresight to have your claim number (if you know it) or your policy number (you surely have that somewhere) handy. Why? Because if I answer the phone, "XYZ Insurance Company," and you say, "Yeah, I have a question about my policy," the first thing I'm going to say back is, "Do you have your policy number?" because I need to look the policy up on our computer so I can either answer your question or direct you to someone who can. It is simply mind-boggling to me how many people say, "Uh, no."

And I have then had conversations that go like this:

"Ok, what is the name of the insured?"

"XYZ Insurance."

"No, that's us, that's the insurance company. What is the NAME of the INSURED?"

"Huh?"

"The policyholder. The name on the policy."

"Oh, that's me."

"No, I need your business name. We're a commercial insurer. We register policies by the business name. What is the business name?"

"Yeah, it's my business."

You get my point.

I've also had people call and say, "Yeah, I have a question about my policy," and I say, "Do you have your policy number so I can look that up for you?" and they reply, "No, I'm in my car. That information is back at my office/home/apartment/wherever." First of all, DON'T BE CALLING ME ON A CELLPHONE WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING. THAT'S DANGEROUS. HANG UP AND DRIVE OR PULL OVER TO MAKE YOUR CALL! Second, it's really stupid to call from your car with a question about your policy when you don't have your policy information with you so I can look it up for you. Get a clue!

Please, if you call and ask to speak to Mary Jones or John Smith, and I transfer you to Mary Jones or John Smith, and you get that person's voice mail, do NOT call me back at the main switchboard and get sarcastic with me and say, "I wanted Mary Jones, and YOU gave me her VOICE MAIL. I want to talk to a LIVE PERSON. Do NOT put me through to voice mail!" You see, I am not that stupid. I KNOW that you want to speak with a live person. I did NOT intentionally, on purpose, put you through to voice mail. I do not have two buttons on my switchboard console, one marked "Live Person" and the other marked "Voice Mail." If the person you requested is away from his or her desk, you will get voice mail. I have no way of knowing if that person is at their desk, because I sit in the front lobby, and I cannot see through walls and around corners. And I am not going to call ahead to make SURE the person is at their desk for every single call that comes to my switchboard. Simply not gonna happen.

People step away from their desks for a variety of reasons. They might have to use the restroom (hey, ever sit for 8 hours without going potty even once?) and you might have had the bad luck to call during the five minutes they're in the restroom. They might have gone to get a cup of coffee (hence the need to use the restroom later) or to get a snack from the vending machine. They might be using the fax machine or the copy machine. They might have gone into a meeting. (They don't always tell the switchboard operator when they go into a meeting, either. And yes, if you're told that so-and-so is in a meeting, odds are pretty good that so-and-so is in a meeting, because people DO go into meetings in offices ALL the TIME. It is NOT an excuse they came up with to avoid taking your call.)

Now, if you call me back, and in a NICE tone of voice say, "I'm sorry, I got Mary's voice mail. Do you know if she's available right now? I really need to speak with her," I'm MUCH more likely to bend over backwards to help you. But if you treat me like you think I'm a dumb jerk who just decided on purpose to dump you into voice mail, I might not be so inclined to help you. And please understand, sometimes, people just aren't available. Example: I had one woman call who needed to talk with someone in accounting. We are a small company. We have three people in the accounting department. I tried each person THREE TIMES and nobody answered the phone. Apparently, all three people were not at their desks, perhaps in a meeting or something. The woman did not want to leave a message on anyone's voice mail and insisted on talking to "a live person, right now." I finally, politely, had to tell her, "I'm sorry, but I've tried everyone three times and no one is answering the phone. You will have to leave a message on voice mail or call back. There's nothing else I can do for you." She grudgingly accepted that she had to leave a message, but it took me the better part of five or six minutes to get her to do so.

Please, please, please, remember there is such a thing as TIME ZONES. I have had people call at 8:00 in the morning, wanting to speak with someone who will not be in the office until 8:30. When I tell them that person hasn't arrived in the office yet, I get the almost inevitable sarcasm, "What do you mean they're not there? It's 10:00 in the morning!" Well, it might be 10:00 where YOU are, but it's 8:00 where WE are. Or I tell you that the person is at lunch, and you reply, "At 2:00 in the afternoon?" To which I say, "It's noon here," and I get, "Where ARE you?" Well, we're further west than you, and that means we're a couple hours behind you. Get a clue.

I am a switchboard operator. I am unable to answer in detail questions about claims, policies, premiums, etc. If I tell you, "I'm sorry, I just answer the phone. I need to direct your call to someone who can answer your question," do not come back with "Well, let me just ask you this." I just told you I can't answer your question! And do not jump down my throat because you've already tried reaching someone and nobody has returned your call yet. I understand your frustration, but it's not the switchboard operator's fault if a claims examiner or underwriter hasn't called you back yet, so don't take your anger out on me. All you do is raise my blood pressure and ruin my day. You don't get anywhere, because I'm powerless to make anybody call you back.

Please, if you have a question about your policy, and I try to find it by the business name, be patient. It takes longer to find it that way than if you actually miraculously have the policy number to give me. Example: One guy called about his policy, wanting to file a claim, and the name of his business was something like BJ's Sports Grill. (Not the actual name, but similar to that.) Ok, in our computer system, that could be input in a million ways, such as:

BJ's Sports Grill
B.J.'s Sports Grill
B J's Sports Grill
B. J.'s Sports Grill

As it turns out, it was in our computer as BJs Sports Grill. (No periods, no apostrophe.) The only way I found it was because the caller finally, after several minutes of rustling through paperwork on his desk, unearthed his policy number (which he should have had in front of him before placing his call to us) and I put in his policy number and up popped his information.

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but you can begin to see how frustrating dealing with the public is for a switchboard operator!